Hello Mister,

I need to clear the air.  We’ve been seeing each other for four weeks now (3 if you remove the last week that we’ve recently spent apart).  The first three weeks were glorious.  A dream, really. I have had no desire to see anyone else and have no intention to do so.  I am utterly smitten with you, but I have a problem.

I would not consider myself high maintenance.  You don’t need to dote on me or shower me with gifts.  I am a very busy young woman so I want you (expect you, even) to have a fulfilling life outside of a girlfriend (hopefully, me).  One thing I do desire (require, even) is consistency.  I’m old enough to know I don’t want to play “the game” any longer.

I tried, albeit somewhat awkwardly, to express my concern at your distinct lack of texting a couple weeks ago.  The conversation came and went, but you did ask if I wanted to hear from you more often, to which I responded affirmatively.  Texting wouldn’t normally be high on my list of needs & wants, but when I have binged on your company for 75% of the time I have known of your existence, it is the only thing that keeps me from falling into full-fledged withdrawals (did I just say I’m addicted to you?).  I don’t need much in this department, but I can tell you that a 12+ hour response could be improved upon.

I feel I have been patient.  When I expected to see you last weekend and nothing ever came to fruition, I went on with my life and busied myself with friends and responsibilities.  When we finally set plans, they were 5 days in advance and it had already been 3 days since I had seen you.  A week feels like an impossibly long time when it represents a quarter of your existence (point of view taken into consideration).  Regardless, I did not complain.  I looked forward to the future.  But this is when the exceedingly long responses became a nuisance.

I am not asking for much, just some assurance that the interest is still there, even when we’re apart.

I think I have made my point.  I fear telling you this would result in adjectives like “crazy” or “clingy” to accompany sentences with me as the subject.  It has only been four weeks after all.  But I know what I want.  I know I want honesty, faithfulness, and maturity.  And I’m pretty sure I want you.

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3 thoughts on “Hello Mister,

  1. A little unsolicited advice from an older woman- You know what you want so articulate that in a conversation. I suffered through the “game” for a number of years before I met my husband. I knew how I felt about him and I knew that I wasn’t willing to waste my time playing a game. I told him, “I will be honest with you I expect you to be honest with me. I don’t play games and I don’t waste time. I care about you and I am having the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. Don’t be afraid, it will be okay.” Three months later we were married and we’ve been married for a long time.
    The worst thing that can happen is that this man will reject you; if he does, your birthday will continue to come each year on the same day, you’ll still be you, you’ll still have your friends and family and you’ll be available for the right person when he appears. Don’t give up.

    • Your advice is well received, thank you elroyjones! I took your advice (the conversation actually started rather naturally) and we laid everything out on the table. It was refreshing to get it out in writing, but even more so for him to know (and quell) my concerns. Nearly everything in this letter was discussed (and then some) and I couldn’t be happier with the direction things are going. 🙂

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