The Turning Point

A lot has changed for me in such a short amount of time.  It’s crazy how volatile feelings (most notably lust) can be.

The mystery is what drives the attraction.  I usually tell myself I can learn to love this or that.  And even when I feel a little excited about it, I usually cannot voice a true feeling of attraction well to those around me.  It comes off as convenience dating to them; that I’m clearly not as into that person as I had convinced myself that I was.  And maybe it’s true?  Maybe I just tell myself, Gee, love would be nice, but I don’t want to love this person.  That’s okay though because I might not get it elsewhere.  Well, I’m smart enough to know that is just hog-wash.  And quite frankly, I don’t NEED anyone (that’s the feminist in me coming out to play).  No one NEEDS anyone, but it would be damn nice to have a compatible partner.  But why is that so hard to find?

But I digress. My point is not that I wish to love someone.  I merely mean to bring up the subject of what I would like to call the turning point.  That early point in any relationship, serious or not, in which your brain makes a decision that it is either (1) giving this thing a shot or (2) getting the hell out of dodge! Continue reading