A lot has changed for me in such a short amount of time. It’s crazy how volatile feelings (most notably lust) can be.
The mystery is what drives the attraction. I usually tell myself I can learn to love this or that. And even when I feel a little excited about it, I usually cannot voice a true feeling of attraction well to those around me. It comes off as convenience dating to them; that I’m clearly not as into that person as I had convinced myself that I was. And maybe it’s true? Maybe I just tell myself, Gee, love would be nice, but I don’t want to love this person. That’s okay though because I might not get it elsewhere. Well, I’m smart enough to know that is just hog-wash. And quite frankly, I don’t NEED anyone (that’s the feminist in me coming out to play). No one NEEDS anyone, but it would be damn nice to have a compatible partner. But why is that so hard to find?
But I digress. My point is not that I wish to love someone. I merely mean to bring up the subject of what I would like to call the turning point. That early point in any relationship, serious or not, in which your brain makes a decision that it is either (1) giving this thing a shot or (2) getting the hell out of dodge! Continue reading